


Quarantine Dreams

by silver_etoile



Category: SKAM (Netherlands), WTFock | Skam (Belgium)
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Video Chat, meet cute, quarantine fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:33:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23577712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silver_etoile/pseuds/silver_etoile
Summary: The last thing Jens wants to do while stuck at home indefinitely is do homework, but a group project with a cute new boy surprises Jens more than he realizes.
Relationships: Jens Stoffels/Lucas van der Heijden
Comments: 20
Kudos: 142





	Quarantine Dreams

**Author's Note:**

> Everyone's doing these but I thought I'd jump on the bandwagon. Find me on [tumblr](http://azozzoni.tumblr.com).

Jens groaned the moment Robbe’s face popped up on the computer screen, shrouded in shadows as though he couldn’t be bothered to turn on a light or open the curtains.

“Why the fuck are they making us do a group project when we’re all stuck at home?” he demanded, as though Robbe would have a satisfactory answer. Jens had been thinking about it since they’d gotten the email from their teacher with homework for the week. A group project when they couldn’t even go see each other. The only bright side was at least Robbe was a third of the group.

Robbe shrugged, shoving aside his hair which was growing entirely too long. “To torture us.”

“Obviously,” Jens agreed, sighing as he leaned back against his bed. As if it wasn’t torture enough to be stuck in the house and still have to do schoolwork.

“Maybe it won’t be so bad,” Robbe said. “At least it’s you and me.”

“And Lucas, whoever that is,” Jens added, bringing up the email on his phone. He’d never heard of this Lucas kid—he certainly wasn’t in their class that he knew of.

“We’ll just divide the work.” Robbe said it as though it would be so easy, but Jens had little intention of actually doing any work during this weird, strange time.

“If he ever logs on,” Jens said, annoyed. He’d rather be playing video games or watching TV, or literally anything than talking about school.

A new window popped up, though, as Jens said it, and a guy Jens had definitely never seen at school before appeared on the screen.

“Hi,” the guy said, a slight frown at his lips as though he was even less thrilled with this than Jens was. “Sorry, I’m late?”

“It’s cool,” Robbe said immediately. “You must be Lucas?”

“Yeah,” Lucas replied, a little short, running a hand through his dirty-blond curls. He at least had decent lighting, Jens found himself thinking, falling brightly over the sharp angles of his face, probably from a window.

“I’m Robbe,” Robbe said, “and that’s Jens.”

“Hey,” Jens said finally, and Lucas nodded. “Are you new? You’re not in our class.”

Lucas sighed, heavy, sitting back against the wall. “I just moved here last month, right before they shut everything down. So basically, I’ve been trapped in my house with my dad. You’re the first people I’ve even seen since I got here.”

“Shit,” Jens heard himself say, cringing a second later. “Sorry. That must suck.”

“You have no idea,” Lucas muttered, and Jens caught the glance Robbe shot the camera while Lucas looked away from the screen.

Jens had no idea what it meant, the way Robbe’s eyes darted to him.

“Should we get started on the project?” Robbe asked a second later, and Jens groaned.

“Can’t we just play a video game and _say_ we worked on the project?”

Robbe’s frown was visible even in his tiny box, but Jens thought he saw Lucas smile in his. It was a nice smile.

“We will have to actually turn it in,” Robbe reminded him, but Jens didn’t care. The rest of the year was pretty much a wash anyway.

“Yeah, but not today,” Jens pointed out. “We’ve got plenty of time.”

“If you guys don’t mind,” Lucas piped up, his face taking over the screen, eyes deeply blue even in the pixelated video chat. “I still have a lot of stuff to unpack, and I’ve been putting it off for a month. If I don’t do it soon, I think my dad might literally have a conniption.” He rolled his eyes. “Would it be okay if you just texted me what we’re doing? So we don’t have to video chat all the time?”

“Sure, no problem,” Robbe said easily. “I’m sending mine and Jens’ numbers right now.”

“Thanks,” Lucas said, sounding a bit more sincere this time. “I guess I’ll talk to you guys later.”

Jens didn’t say anything as Lucas’ face disappeared from the screen, leaving him and Robbe.

Robbe frowned. “You don’t think he’s going to be one of those guys who doesn’t do any of the work?”

“I hope not,” Jens said. “We can’t have two of those in one group. You’d kill us.”

“Very funny,” Robbe said, rolling his eyes. “You’re gonna do the work, Jens.”

Jens wasn’t so sure about that, but he shrugged anyway. At least Lucas seemed cool, if not a little stressed. But everyone was stressed these days. He was pretty sure his mom was going to pull her hair out if she had to spend another day with both his sisters running wild in the house.

“Go Facetime with your boyfriend,” Jens said instead, “work out some of that stress.”

“Gross,” Robbe said, and Jens laughed.

“Bye!”

He ended the call before Robbe could reply, shutting the laptop and tossing it aside. A group project was the last thing he wanted to think about, so he just didn’t, pulling up Instagram instead.

*

[](https://imageshack.com/i/plZNKVtjj)

*

“What’s for breakfast?” Jens asked, plopping down at the kitchen table, across from where his mother had her laptop set up. She shot him an expectant look over the top.

“It’s after eleven, Jens. Don’t you have school work to do? Studying? Homework?” She paused, thinking. “Should I be checking it?”

“No,” he said quickly, shaking his head and ignoring the way his phone buzzed in his pocket—probably a text from Robbe about the group project he had so far not thought about at all aside from wondering if Lucas had actually bothered to unpack any of his boxes.

He’d gone back to Lucas’ texts a couple times in the last few days, wondering if he should say something. He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to say.

“Could you do me a favor?” she asked as Jens pushed himself up from the chair, moving over to the fridge and peering inside. Despite the fact that it was filled with food, there was still nothing to eat and he sighed. “Could you entertain your sisters for a few hours today? I really need to get this work done.”

“Mom,” he groaned, only to be met with a stern look over the laptop.

“We’re all stuck at home, Jens,” she reminded him, as if he needed reminding. He hadn’t left the house in weeks. He was beginning to forget what sunlight felt like. “And we all need to do our part. You’re not going to spend the next month holed up in your room playing video games. Now go get your sisters and play Candy Land with them.”

Jens didn’t groan this time, though he wanted to. He so wanted to, but the look on his mom’s face told him not to try again.

“Fine,” he said, clutching the vibrating phone in his pocket. He left her in the kitchen, pulling out his phone to Robbe facetiming him. “What?” he answered, and Robbe’s only response was an unimpressed look.

“You’re ignoring my texts so I had to call you.”

“Video call? I haven’t showered in a week, bro.”

Robbe rolled his eyes, and Jens headed for the living room where he could hear his sisters shrieking and laughing.

“Good thing I can’t smell you then,” Robbe said, and Jens ignored that.

“Lotte, stop jumping on the couch,” he said, flopping down instead. The girl with wild brown curls fell onto his lap instead with a painful thud. “Go get a board game,” he told her.

Lotte ran down the hall instead, Hettie chasing after her. Jens held the phone up so he could see Robbe’s face.

“I can’t work on the project now. I have to keep my sisters away from my mom for a while.”

“We’re going to have to work on it at some point,” Robbe said. “I talked to Lucas and—”

“You talked to Lucas?”

“Yeah,” Robbe said with a slight frown, and Jens wasn’t sure why he cared. _He’d_ talked to Lucas too. “I talked to him and he said he’s fine with dividing the work or whatever we decide.”

“Okay, so that’s good then,” Jens said with a shrug, taking the game Lotte came back with. It was one of those pink princess games Jens usually avoided. “Just decide what to do and let me know.”

“Jens,” Robbe said, but Jens shook his head. 

“I gotta go.”

He ended the call, shoving the phone in his pocket and opening the box.

“Are you gonna tell me the rules? ‘Cause I don’t know this one.”

“Of course!” Lotte said cheerfully, already digging into the box for the pieces and laying them out on the coffee table.

Jens wasn’t listening, though, as she set out explaining the rules, batting Hettie’s hands away from the bright pink game pieces as she did. He was thinking about Robbe talking to Lucas. He was sure they hadn’t talked about anything other than school. He didn’t know why he cared. He didn’t even know Lucas.

“You roll first,” Lotte said, handing the dice to Jens and he tossed them on the table.

Lotte moved his piece for him, and Jens grabbed his phone as she went next.

Pulling up Instagram, he brought up the search bar and typed in Lucas’ name.

[](https://imageshack.com/i/plTtf7Hip)

Jens couldn’t stop himself scrolling through the photos, largely of Lucas’ face. A very nice face, Jens caught himself thinking.

Jens shouldn’t have been thinking about Lucas’ face. Or his pretty blue eyes or his devious smile in some of those pictures. He shouldn’t have been thinking about that at all.

Robbe was the only one who knew, who knew that Jens had accidentally made out with a guy at a party a few months ago. In his defense, he’d been really drunk and the guy had been exceptionally pretty. But Jens was pretty sure he wasn’t gay. He didn’t want to fuck any of his friends at any rate.

He definitely hadn’t hated it, kissing a guy. It was a lot like kissing a girl. That was what he’d told Robbe, had made Robbe smile like they had something in common now. Jens wasn’t so sure about that, but he couldn’t really argue that he hadn’t liked it a little.

“Jens,” Hettie whined, shaking his arm with her tiny hands, breaking him out of his thoughts. “It’s your turn!”

“Okay, okay,” he said, grabbing the dice. He didn’t need to be thinking about Lucas or stalking his Instagram. After all, it was just a group project.

*

[](https://imageshack.com/i/pl6TfWw1j)

Jens smiled at Lucas’ text, holding the phone over his face, reading the words over and over.

 _I like it_. I like it. _I like it_.

It was sunny outside, and normally, it would have made Jens long to grab his skateboard and head to the park, but today, he was content to lay on his bed, covers mussed from the night before, biscuit crumbs on the sheets, shoes in a pile on the floor, and reread Lucas’ messages.

Robbe’s name popped up on the screen a second later, blocking out Lucas’ texts, a phone call that Jens grimaced at.

“Hey, what’s up?” he answered, though he was pretty sure he knew what the call was about.

“Good, you answered,” Robbe said, sounding only slightly annoyed. Robbe could never really be annoyed with Jens, a fact Jens knew and exploited.

“Why wouldn’t I?” Jens asked easily, though he was sure Robbe was rolling his eyes through the phone.

“I’ve got Lucas on the call too,” he said instead, and Jens sat up quickly, as if Lucas could see him through the phone, see his gross old shirt he hadn’t changed in two days, how messy his room was.

“Hi,” came Lucas’ voice.

“Hi,” Jens said, wondering if it was only him that was suddenly feeling nervous.

Giving himself a firm shake, Jens frowned. What was he doing? Nervous talking to Lucas? He didn’t even know him.

“Now that you’re both here,” Robbe said, all business, “we need to actually talk about the project.”

“For god’s sake, Robbe, not getting any has made you really cranky,” Jens teased, hearing Robbe’s huff.

“I talk to Sander all the time,” he said, and Jens laughed.

“Yeah, _talk_.”

“I’m lost,” Lucas said on the other end, and Robbe sighed.

“Ignore him. He’s an idiot.”

“Hey!” Jens protested, but he couldn’t really argue.

“I was thinking,” Robbe plowed on despite Jens’ best efforts to derail the conversation, “if we each did a section of a book and wrote a report, you could both send them to me and we could put them together.”

The last thing Jens wanted to do with his state-imposed quarantine was read a boring old book and write a report on it.

“Wouldn’t it be better if we all read the whole book and came up with something together?”

“Luc!” Jens said, surprised.

“What?” Lucas sounded confused and Jens scoffed.

“You’re supposed to be on my side.”

“And what side is that?”

“The side where we don’t do any work at all and pretend we never got the email.”

He heard Lucas laugh, and he found himself smiling at the sound. “Wow, Robbe, you weren’t kidding.”

“Wait.” Jens sat up further on the bed, pressing the phone to his ear. “Have you guys been talking about me?”

It made his heart beat a little faster, a little nervous, the thought that maybe Lucas had asked Robbe about him.

“I just said you’d do anything to get out of doing work,” Robbe said, and Jens’ ego deflated slightly. It wasn’t as if he’d expected Robbe and Lucas to be talking about things like if Jens was single or not. Lucas probably didn’t even care. Jens definitely shouldn’t have cared.

Slumping down on his pillow, he held back his sigh. “Fine, whatever. I’ll read the book.”

“You sound so enthusiastic,” Lucas said, almost amused.

“Reading a dry, old book isn’t my idea of fun,” he said, frowning. He hadn’t thought quarantine would be fun, but he hadn’t thought it would be torture either.

“Maybe you just need some motivation,” Lucas said, and Jens wasn’t sure what that meant.

There was a silence on the line for a second as Jens frowned. 

“Okay,” Robbe said finally. “So we’ll read the book. Is a week long enough?”

Jens didn’t reply, rolling his eyes, but Lucas agreed so Robbe seemed satisfied. He hung up the phone when Robbe did, tossing it aside and sighing as he set his hands on his stomach.

It was stupid, he thought, staring up at the ceiling, the sunlight playing across it, obscured by the gently-waving shadows of leaves outside the window. That he was even thinking about Lucas. What was so special about him? Was he any different than any other guy Jens had ever met? He didn’t think so. No, he didn’t think so.

A knock on the door, followed by the door creaking open, made Jens turn his head to find Lotte standing in the doorway.

“I’m bored,” she said, and Jens huffed.

“We’re all bored.”

She didn’t leave, though, crossing the room and crawling on the bed with him. Jens didn’t stop her, resigned as she lay down next to him. She still seemed so impossibly small even though she was already seven years old, almost eight. “When is this going to be over?”

“I don’t know,” Jens admitted, brushing her curls off her face.

“Will I ever get to see my friends again?”

Jens smiled slightly, gripping her shoulder tightly. “You will.”

Lotte didn’t reply, and they lay there together, watching the sunlight dance across the ceiling.

*

Shutting the door behind him, Jens collapsed on his bed, as if he hadn’t spent most of the day on it. He’d dragged himself out for dinner and stuck around to watch some kid’s show with Hettie while their mom cleaned up, but Hettie was in bed and Lotte was in her room, playing with her horses.

Jens missed going outside. He missed the skate park, getting a pile of greasy fries on Friday with Robbe, lighting up a joint with Moyo. Fuck, he even missed school because at least he got to go somewhere and see people. The only people he got to see these days was his family.

His phone vibrated in his pocket and Jens pulled it out, surprised to see Lucas’ name on the screen. His face popped up when Jens accepted the call.

“Hi,” Lucas greeted him, and Jens paused.

“Is this a butt dial?”

“You mean a face dial?” Lucas asked with a slight smile.

Sitting up, Jens held up the phone, taking in Lucas’ face. The light in whatever room Lucas was in was dimmer today, casting shadows over half his face.

“What I mean is, did you mean to call me?” Jens asked, hoping the answer was yes somehow.

“Yeah,” Lucas said simply, as though there was no other answer. He paused, though, licking his lips. “I just wanted to say sorry about earlier.”

Jens frowned. “Sorry for what?”

“On the call with Robbe,” Lucas said, eyebrows furrowed. “Not being on your side.”

“Oh,” Jens said, laughing after a second as he realized. “No, I was joking. You don’t have to be on my side. We barely know each other.”

Lucas nodded. “Okay, right.”

Jens paused as Lucas did, not looking into the camera. Lucas had called him. He could have texted, but he’d called.

“But maybe you should get to know me so you’ll have a legitimate reason to always be on my side.”

He was rewarded with a smile this time, Lucas glancing back at the screen.

“I don’t think Robbe would like that.”

“Screw Robbe,” Jens said, rolling his eyes. “I need you on my team.”

“Isn’t he your best friend?” Lucas asked, and Jens shrugged. 

“Yeah, so he gets it. Besides, he’s got Sander now. Sander is always on his side.”

Lucas smiled again, and Jens felt something twinge deep in his chest.

“Sander?”

“His boyfriend.” Jens sighed. “They’re annoyingly perfect.” Scooting back on the bed, he leaned against the wall. It wasn’t weird, talking to Lucas like this, without Robbe to interject something about the book or the project. It was nice to only see his face on the screen, the way the corners of his mouth tilted up just slightly, even when he wasn’t smiling.

Jens wondered if he would have noticed Lucas, if he would have gone to school one day and seen Lucas sitting in the classroom and had this same strange pull towards him.

“What about you?” he asked, nodding at Lucas. “You leave anyone behind when you moved here?”

“Just friends.” Lucas shrugged. “And my mom.”

Jens nodded again. “Divorced?”

Lucas hesitated, tugging at the ends of his hair, mouth twisting. “Not technically. My mom had to go in a clinic and my dad thought it was better if we ‘started fresh.’” He made air quotes, rolling his eyes at the same time. “Which really just means abandoning her and forcing me to leave all my friends behind.”

“That sucks,” Jens said, grimacing as he did. It wasn’t nearly the right thing to say, he was sure, but Lucas jerked his shoulders.

“It is what it is.”

“I promise it’s not so bad here,” Jens said after a minute, watching Lucas set his chin on his knee and sigh. “I mean, once they let us back outside, there’s some cool shit in Antwerp. At least, there’s a skate park where no one cares if you smoke.” He smiled slightly, watching Lucas do the same.

“Yeah? You guys have any good weed here?”

“The best!” Jens insisted, and Lucas laughed. “Once this whole thing is over, we’ll smoke together. I promise.”

“You promise, huh?” Lucas asked, a teasing smile on his lips. “You promise it’s better than the weed I can get at home? I mean, in the Netherlands.” His smile fell and Jens wished he knew the right thing to say to make Lucas feel better, as if maybe moving here hadn’t been a total waste. But he didn’t know what he could say to change his mind, not at this point.

“I don’t know,” he admitted finally. “But I can promise that I am a great person to get high with.”

Lucas paused for a second, chewing on his lower lip. “Somehow, I believe that.”

“It’s ‘cause it’s true,” Jens said simply, and Lucas moved back from the phone.

“Maybe someday we’ll see. I should probably go, though,” he said after a minute. “Besides, you have some reading to do.”

Groaning, Jens let his head fall back against the wall. “Next time,” he said, pointing at Lucas through the screen. “Next time, you’re gonna be on my side.”

Lucas smiled, tilting his head to the side. “But I still don’t know anything about you.”

“I have two sisters. There,” Jens said, and Lucas’ smile widened. Jens felt something twisting in his stomach.

“There,” Lucas echoed. “Okay, I’m on your side.”

Jens didn’t say anything about the way his chest fluttered when Lucas merely grinned at him before the screen went black.

This was going to be a problem.

*

Jens had never had a crush on a guy before. That guy he’d made out with at the party, he’d been cute, but it had been a fleeting moment of Jens’ drunk mind wanting to kiss someone. Anyone. That hadn’t meant he liked the guy, that he wanted to talk to him, hang out, get to know each other.

He wasn’t like Robbe, a serial monogamist who met that one person and just _knew_. Sure, there had been Jana. He’d felt a pull towards her, a pull strong enough to fuck up her whole friendship with Britt, and he still felt a little bad about that.

It wasn’t the same with Lucas, Jens told himself as he sat on his bed, scrolling through Lucas’ instagram.

[](https://imageshack.com/i/pmFMPowHp)

Even if he did find Lucas attractive, it was from a purely aesthetic point of view. He had pretty blue eyes, thin, pink lips, a little mole on his upper lip that Jens might have noticed a bit too much as he scrolled through Lucas’ photos.

It was just a random physical attraction, Jens thought, forcing himself to close out of the app. He shouldn’t have been scrolling endlessly through Lucas’ photos. He was sure Lucas wasn’t doing the same.

“Jens!” His mom’s voice came through the door and Jens’ shoulders fell. So far this morning, he’d managed to avoid leaving his room, but he knew his sisters were out there, driving his mother crazy.

“What?” he called back, and he wasn’t surprised when the door swung open and his mom stood there, an annoyed look on her face.

“Would you please come out of your room and do something with your sisters? I have work I need to do.”

“I have homework,” Jens said, although he definitely hadn’t started any of his homework.

She shot him a look that said she definitely knew he wasn’t doing any work.

“Get off your phone and build a pillow fort with your sisters.”

Jens didn’t roll his eyes, but he groaned as he dragged himself off the bed. At least it would be a distraction from thinking about Lucas.

“Just keep them busy for an hour,” his mom said as he passed her in the doorway. “Then you can go back to doing whatever you’re doing.”

It was only an hour, Jens told himself, resolutely dragging his feet down the hall toward the screams of his sisters.

*

[](https://imageshack.com/i/pm7Gu9uPj)

Jens stared unseeingly at the pages of the book, the words blurring together. It was impossible to concentrate, even with the house resolutely silent around him. Robbe had never responded to his last text-probably busy saying goodnight to Sander.

It wasn’t just Robbe’s texts that kept him distracted—it wasn’t just the dry prose slugging through his brain. The window was open, a light breeze drifting through the room, rustling the curtains, but it didn’t seem to make a difference as Jens leaned back.

It had been weeks, weeks stuck in the house with only his mom and sisters for company. He’d never realized how nice it was to go outside, to be truly alone. Hell, he’d even opt for his dad’s house at this point. 

Sighing, he set the book aside. He clearly wasn’t going to get any reading done tonight.

Grabbing his phone off the comforter, Jens slid down on the bed, crossing his ankles as he scrolled through his contacts. Robbe was probably busy with Sander and Moyo and Aaron were no good to talk to about any of this.

His thumb stopped on Lucas’ name. There was no harm in calling.

He pressed the button and held the phone up to his ear as it rang.

“Butt dial?”

Jens smiled at Lucas’ voice, feeling more relaxed already. “Just bored.”

There was a rustling on the other end of the phone, and Jens wondered if Lucas was in bed too. As he lay there, he tried to picture Lucas’ room, but nothing came to mind. It was probably empty, blank walls, boxes in the corner.

“Don’t you have other friends to entertain you?” Lucas asked, and Jens did. He could have called someone else.

“Yeah, but you don’t.”

He heard Lucas’ laugh. “I do have friends. They just don’t live here.”

“Well, now you have friends here too.”

“Robbe?” Lucas asked, and Jens knew he was teasing this time, could hear the smile in his voice.

“Yeah, Robbe.”

“Tell him thanks for me,” Lucas said easily. “It’s been pretty lonely here so far.”

Rolling onto his side, Jens propped himself up on his elbow, gazing out the window at the leaves rustling in the wind.

“You’re welcome to come over to my house. I can barely get a moment of silence with my sisters and my mom. I’m this close to sneaking out and going to my dad’s house. Which really tells you how desperate things are.”

“Do you get along with your dad?” Lucas asked, and Jens sighed, chewing on his lip.

“Sometimes. Sometimes, I can’t stand him.”

“At least you get along sometimes,” Lucas said quietly. “I thought it was going to be bad enough moving here with my dad, but now I can’t even go anywhere to get away from him.”

For a moment, Jens didn’t reply. He couldn’t imagine being stuck in the house with someone he couldn’t stand. He loved his sisters and his mom, no matter how loud or annoying they were.

“No more talking about shitty parents,” he said after a minute, rolling onto his back again. “If you could do anything right now, what would it be?”

Lucas paused. “Go to the bus station and get the next bus to Utrecht.”

“It must be pretty awesome,” Jens said. He’d never been to Utrecht, even though it wasn’t that far away. He’d never felt the need to.

“I just miss everyone there,” Lucas said with a sigh.

Jens frowned, but he didn’t have anything to say to change that. “Well, if I could do anything, I would go down to the river and get totally drunk and I’d show you the giant mural of Robbe’s face.”

“I bet you’re a great drunk,” Lucas said, and Jens laughed.

“I’m hilarious.

“Maybe some day I’ll find out.”

Jens grinned, picking at his comforter, brushing cat fur off the fabric. “I could get drunk and call you, for sure.”

“I think it might be better in person.”

Jens’ smile widened at Lucas’ words. In person. “You’d get the full effect of my presence that way.”

Lucas laughed. “I bet it’s inspiring.”

“Are you making fun of me?” Jens grinned as Lucas made a noise of disagreement.

“I don’t know.”

He smiled to himself as he lay there, listening to Lucas breathing on the other end. It was nice, just talking to Lucas in the quiet of the night, and he sighed easily.

“I don’t know,” Lucas murmured again, and Jens gazed up at the ceiling as the soft breeze blew in through the window.

*

[](https://imageshack.com/i/po20MW85p)

*

“She’s got you totally whipped,” Moyo said from his little corner of the screen, and Aaron scoffed.

“She does not.”

Moyo shot the camera a look and Jens adjusted the laptop on the windowsill, keeping it from falling out as he lit up the joint. If his mom smelled it, she’d kill him.

“Jens, you would never put a girl’s name in your Insta profile, right?”

“Nah.” Jens took a deep inhale, the smoke a calming wave in his lungs. He had to be careful with his stash—it wasn’t as if there were opportunities to get any more. “But Robbe would.”

“Hey,” Robbe protested from his dark bedroom, his fluffy hair taking up half the screen. “Sander’s not in there.”

“Yeah, and you guys barely even post pictures of each other,” Aaron piped up.

“And isn’t that why Amber made you add her?” Jens pointed out. He still had tons of pictures of Jana up on his profile that he’d never bothered to delete.

Aaron frowned as Moyo and Robbe laughed at him. Jens glanced out the window instead, taking another drag. It was a cloudy, overcast day, but even that didn’t stop Jens from wanting to go outside. He couldn’t, though, and he breathed in the damp scent of the grass instead from his windowsill.

The house was quiet for once, his mom working at the kitchen table, his sisters watching a movie in the living room.

“Have you guys tried phone sex yet?” he asked, and even through the screen, he could see how big Aaron’s eyes got.

“Amber would never.”

“You don’t know that,” Moyo said, rubbing at his hair. “She could be freaky.”

“Phone sex isn’t freaky.” Jens rolled his eyes, tapping the end of the joint. “You gotta do what you gotta do, man. I bet Robbe and Sander are getting down on video chat.”

Robbe didn’t reply, but his face seemed to darken a shade.

“Speaking of,” Robbe said a minute later once Moyo had stopped laughing. “Have you heard from Lucas lately?”

Frowning, Jens exhaled a rush of smoke, the calm suddenly replaced with nerves. “How is that speaking of?”

“Who’s Lucas?” Moyo asked.

“Just some new guy we have to do the group project with,” Jens said dismissively, wondering why Robbe was bringing him up now, in front of everyone. Not that Jens should have cared.

“Fuck that project,” Moyo groaned, rolling his eyes, and Aaron nodded enthusiastically.

“He just hasn’t responded to my texts about it,” Robbe said, looking concerned as the his face popped up on the bigger screen. “You guys seemed friendly.”

Looking away from the screen, Jens shrugged. The air outside was chilly and he slipped a hand into the pocket of his hoodie.

“He probably hasn’t because no one cares about that stupid project.”

He hadn’t talked to Lucas in a couple days, not since that night on the phone, the text Lucas had sent later, the text that had made Jens’ heart flutter stupidly, had kept him awake all night thinking it over.

He hadn’t texted after that, hadn’t known what to say. 

Jens wasn’t even sure what he was doing with Lucas, if he liked him, if he even should. And even if he did, what were the chances Lucas was being anything other than friendly? After all, Jens was pretty much the only person Lucas knew here—it wasn’t as if he had any other choice of friends at the moment.

Robbe sighed. “Could you at least try to find out?”

Rolling his eyes, Jens didn’t reply, but he knew Robbe would take that as a yes. He wasn’t listening as Aaron started asking about how to do phone sex, distracted with the thought of talking to Lucas again.

If they were stuck in their houses, would he be thinking so much? Would he not have maybe seen Lucas at a party and flirted with him? Did he do that with guys now?

Jens only felt confused as he gazed out the window, focusing on the feel of the smoke settling in a gentle buzz over his skin instead.

*

[](https://imageshack.com/i/pmEiFaRup)

*

“You’re not watching,” Lotte complained, shoving at Jens’ arm.

Looking away from his text messages, the constant dragging the messages up, hoping for something new, Jens frowned at Lotte beside him on the couch.

“Neither is Hettie,” he pointed out, who was playing on the floor with a bunch of toy cars Jens would probably trip over later.

“She’s five,” Lotte replied, as though that explained anything. And maybe it did.

“I’ve seen this movie before,” he said, glancing up at the screen. He’d seen all the princess movies, completely against his will.

“Who are you texting?” Lotte asked instead, craning to see Jens’ screen. He jerked it out of her view.

“Don’t be nosy.”

“When I get a phone, I’ll let you look at it.”

“No, you won’t,” Jens assured her, shoving Lotte away from his lap. She pouted slightly as she slumped into the cushions. “Once you get to be a teenager, you’ll be just as secretive as every other girl.” He was definitely not looking forward to that, but at least by then, he’d be out of the house.

“No, I won’t,” Lotte argued, but Jens knew the truth.

Instead of arguing with her, he checked his phone again but there was nothing new there. No message from Lucas about the project. Maybe he’d dropped his phone in the toilet. Or maybe he was just ignoring Jens.

“Is it a girl?” Lotte asked, brown eyes big and curious.

“It’s not a girl,” Jens said, rolling his eyes and tucking the phone away. If Lucas didn’t want to talk to him, there was nothing he could do. Had he done something wrong? Said something?

No. Jens shook his head. He was overthinking this. There was probably a perfectly reasonable explanation why Lucas wasn’t answering texts. He hadn’t answered Robbe either.

Jens wasn’t usually one to over-think. Under-think was more like it.

Besides, he thought as he pretended to watch the movie so Lotte would stop asking questions, he and Lucas were just friends. That was all.

*

The ring of the phone woke Jens up, groggy as he groped for it on the nightstand, pressing the accept button before he realized it was a video chat.

“Jens?”

Blinking, Jens grimaced at the bright light of the phone in his eyes, Lucas’ face blurry as Jens struggled to wake up.

“Wha?” was the only noise Jens made as he pulled the phone off the charger. “Lucas?”

“I can’t see anything,” Lucas said, and Jens frowned, realizing a second later that the room was pitch black.

“Hold on,” he muttered, not even sure what was going on as he reached for the lamp switch. Dim yellow light flooded the room and Jens cringed away from it. “God, what time is it?”

“A little after one,” Lucas said, frowning at the screen as Jens slid back down against the pillow with a sigh. Lucas didn’t apologize for waking him, watching him through the screen.

“Everything okay?” Jens asked, not bothering to stifle his yawn, trying to blink himself awake.

The light in Lucas’ room wasn’t much brighter than Jens’, casting dim shadows over his face. Jens couldn’t tell if he was sitting or laying down, and his brain wasn’t awake enough to try to figure it out.

“I’m sorry I didn’t reply to your texts,” Lucas said, and Jens furrowed his eyebrows.

“So you decided to call me in the middle of the night to tell me that?”

Lucas looked away from the screen, and Jens paused. It occurred to him only now how strange it was for Lucas to video call him instead of just texting back.

“I haven’t been sleeping much,” Lucas said after a minute. “Too anxious, I guess.”

“About what?”

Jens shifted, hugging his pillow to him, eyes heavy as he watched Lucas through the phone.

Lucas shook his head softly. “Everything.” He paused, taking a breath. “I got into a fight with my dad the other day, which isn’t unusual, except it was worse this time. I’m just so… angry that I have to be here, and on top of everything, I’m trapped in this stupid house which makes everything so much worse.” Lucas rubbed at his face as he sighed. “Sorry. You probably don’t care.”

“No,” Jens said easily. “You can talk to me.”

Jens couldn’t say he understood completely, but he could imagine being forced to move, to leave all his friends behind, what that might feel like, and then not even be able to get out of the house, to try to make things better.

“Even after waking you up in the middle of the night?”

Jens smiled at Lucas, shoving his hair from his eyes as he took a deep breath. He was still warm with sleep, body heavy, not quite awake.

“That’s the best time to talk about shit like this.”

Lucas’ gaze softened, and Jens blamed the way his heart skipped a beat on the fact that he was tired.

“You can tell Robbe I finished the book.”

“He’ll be glad to hear it, though I don’t know if I want you showing me up.”

Jens smiled when Lucas did, as though the air was lighter somehow.

“I could read it to you,” Lucas said after a minute, and Jens laughed, closing his eyes for a second as he sighed deeply.

“I like this kind of personal service.”

“It’s the least I could do after waking you up.” Lucas paused, licking his lips. “What chapter did you leave off on?”

“Three, I think,” Jens said, and he was surprised when Lucas’ screen went dark, a scuffling sound in the background, sheets rustling. “You’re not seriously going to read it?”

“Of course,” Lucas said, soft, as though Jens shouldn’t doubt him. His face appeared back on the screen and he smiled slightly. “Can’t have you failing on my account.”

Jens opened his mouth but he didn’t protest, snuggling into the pillow and watching Lucas on the screen, the soft glow of the lamp as he began to read.

“ _Mr. Woodhouse was fond of society in his own way. He liked very much to have his friends come and see him…_ ”

Closing his eyes, Jens smiled to himself as Lucas’ voice washed over him in the darkness and he relaxed into the softness of his bed.

*

[](https://imageshack.com/i/pnE5sOaup)

Jens smiled at Lucas’ post, finger hovering over the heart button.

“Jens? Are you listening?” Robbe’s voice interrupted his thoughts, coming from the phone speaker, and Jens jerked his finger away.

“Yeah, I’m listening.” Collapsing on the couch, Jens pulled his feet underneath him. The house was messier than usual, as though no one had bothered to pick up the toys scattered around, Jens’ many sweatshirts hanging off furniture, his mom’s purse slung carelessly across the entry table as though it hadn’t been moved in days.

“You talked to Lucas?” Robbe asked, sounding concerned, and Jens felt himself smile, as though he couldn’t help it.

Shaking it away, he shrugged. “Yeah. He said he finished the book.”

“Good, so we can start on the project.”

“I didn’t say I’d finished it,” Jens reminded him. He wasn’t sure how far they’d gotten last night before Jens had fallen asleep to the soft lull of Lucas’ voice in his ear, the rhythmic sound of him reading. He just knew he’d woken up with his phone stuck to his face.

“Are you planning on it?” Robbe asked, like he knew the answer already. Jens should have been insulted that Robbe found him so predictable, but he couldn’t exactly argue the point. He wasn’t the best student.

“Maybe,” Jens said. Maybe he’d finish it if it meant getting to listen to Lucas read it to him.

Jesus, that was a sappy thought, Jens realized as he sat up. Since when did he think like that about Lucas? About any guy?

Jens didn’t usually have this much time to think. With Jana, he’d been around her all the time, hadn’t really stopped to think about what he was doing. Was it just because he was stuck in his house, unable to _do_ anything that was making this all so much weirder?

“Hey,” he said before Robbe could jump in with something about the project again. “When did you know you liked Sander?”

There was a pause, and Robbe answered after a second. “Pretty much five minutes after I met him.”

“Yeah, but I mean, like, actually liked him.”

“About five minutes after that,” Robbe said. “Why?”

“Just wondering,” Jens muttered, petting the black and white cat that jumped up on the couch with him. Her purr filled the room, loud and content as she flopped on her back, belly exposed to Jens’ fingers.

Robbe had known he was gay for years, years before he’d met Sander, before he’d come out to them. Jens, on the other hand, had kissed one guy a few months ago, a kiss he barely remembered, and now, he got excited every time Lucas’ name popped up on his screen. What was that supposed to mean?

Okay, so he knew what it meant. Jens wasn’t a complete idiot. What he didn’t know was what he was supposed to do about it.

“Is quarantine giving you too much time to think?” Robbe asked after a minute. “We both know what a bad idea that is.”

“Shut up, Robbe,” Jens said instead, though he definitely had a point.

Robbe was silent for a moment. “If you want to talk about anything…”

Shaking his head, Jens scratched the cat’s ears, listening to her purr, vibrating against his hand. “I’m good.”

He wouldn’t even know where to start. And that was the problem.

*

[](https://imageshack.com/i/pnHECcjYp)

*

Jens wasn’t listening to Robbe and his ideas for the project, watching Lucas in the chat instead, his little box on the side of the screen. He appeared to be listening, at least, to Robbe.

It had been a couple days since Jens had talked to Lucas, since he’d fallen asleep on the phone with him, since he’d realized just how big of a problem this might be.

“I think it’s a good idea,” Lucas said, his face taking over the screen as he spoke. “What about you, Jens?”

“Uh,” Jens said quickly. “Yeah, sure. Whatever you guys want to do.”

Lucas smiled. “Were you even listening?”

“To be honest, when you talk, I kind of tune you out,” Jens joked, and Lucas laughed.

“So that’s why you still don’t know the plot.”

He didn’t say that he’d read the book to him, and Jens was glad. There was no way Robbe would miss something like that. And the last thing he needed was Robbe trying to get him to talk about things.

“I’ll just watch the movie,” he said and Robbe rolled his eyes.

“Which one?” Lucas asked, cheeky, and Jens frowned.

“There’s more than one?”

“We’re not watching the movie,” Robbe interrupted before Lucas could answer.

 _Later,_ Lucas mouthed as though Robbe couldn’t clearly see him on the screen.

As Jens laughed, he caught the way Robbe frowned.

“Don’t worry. We’ll get the project done. We still have a week.”

“A week isn’t that long,” Robbe pointed out, although every week lately had felt like an eternity.

Lucas grinned. “I bet a week with Jens feels like forever.”

Robbe laughed at that, but Jens didn’t, something squeezing his chest as Lucas smiled at him through the screen, something deep in his gut nervous and fluttery. 

_Oh._

*

“Are you sick?”

Jens looked up at Lotte’s voice in the doorway, hastily stuffing out the joint on the open windowsill.

“Knock, Lotte,” he reminded her with an exasperated sigh.

“You haven’t come out of your room since this morning,” she said. “Do you have the virus?”

Rolling his eyes, Jens twisted on the windowsill, sliding the window shut against the chill air.

“No,” he assured her. “I’m fine.”

She didn’t leave, looking so small in the doorway, and Jens couldn’t help think that she was really too young to even understand what was happening. She was probably just scared.

“Why haven’t you come out then?”

“I was just thinking,” he said, moving over to the bed. He was pretty sure by the end of this, there would be a permanent indent of his ass in the mattress.

“All day?” she asked, sounding astonished that someone could think that long.

“Yeah, all day,” he said, patting the mattress, and she climbed on beside him. He’d thought all day and he still didn’t have an answer. He still didn’t know what he was supposed to do about these feelings he was having for Lucas.

They were definitely feelings, a crush maybe or maybe he’d been cooped up too long and anyone new was appealing at the moment. He was pretty sure it wasn’t that. He was pretty sure he liked Lucas, more than a friend, more than a group project partner.

“Lotte, have you ever liked someone and not known what to do about it?”

Lotte frowned at the question, and Jens shook his head.

“Never mind.”

“Last year I liked a boy named Jaak. He pushed me off the swings.”

Jens nodded slowly. That was about right.

“What did your friends say about him?”

Lotte paused, thinking hard, eyebrows squished together. “They said he was a poopface.”

Jens didn’t have a response for that, and he leaned back on the bed with Lotte beside him. He had to talk to someone about this before it came to that. Before he was a poopface.

*

[](https://imageshack.com/i/pmyKWWBSp)

*

The back garden was small, less of a garden and more of a patch of weed-filled grass and scattered toys, but it was outside and Jens took a deep breath as he leaned against the wall.

He didn’t know why he was nervous. Robbe already knew, or at least, knew part of it. Jens wasn’t quite sure how to explain the rest.

“So what was this ‘phone’ thing?” Robbe asked on the other end of the speaker. He’d only sounded slightly worried when he’d answered earlier, as if Jens might have some earth-shattering news.

Kicking at the muddy ground, Jens figured the only way was to just say it. Just get it off his chest and see if Robbe might have some miracle answer.

“You remember a couple months ago, I told you about that guy at the party?”

“Yeah,” Robbe said easily.

“Obviously I was drunk when that happened, but I didn’t think it was a big deal.”

“It’s not,” Robbe assured him. “Girls make out with other girls at parties all the time.”

“Right, but, like, I didn’t think I was gay or anything, just cause I kissed one guy.” Jens wasn’t sure he was explaining this right when Robbe paused.

“Okay?”

Sighing, Jens pushed off the wall, pacing in the small square, trying to find the right words.

“I think I like Lucas,” he said finally, listening to the silence that followed. He glanced up as a drop of rain hit his nose. The clouds above weren’t particularly inviting today, dark and heavy.

“Really?” Robbe asked, and Jens frowned.

“I can hear the grin in your voice.”

Robbe paused. “Is that not a good thing?”

“Well, I’m not gay, I don’t think,” Jens said with a vague shrug, and he heard Robbe scoff.

“No, but you could be bi or pan. Like Sander.”

Jens had considered that—though he hadn’t given it too much thought. All he knew was that he liked Lucas.

“True,” he agreed. “That’s not really the problem anyway. I don’t care that Lucas is a guy.”

He didn’t care that Lucas wasn’t some soft, pretty girl with long brown hair and big blue eyes. Lucas was all angles, a mischievous smile, shining blue eyes that made Jens feel things. Things beyond just a passing attraction.

“So then what do you care about?” Robbe asked curiously.

Jens wiped away the rain falling on his face. He didn’t want to go inside where his family might overhear the conversation. If he was bisexual, he’d at least like to tell them on his own. Or maybe not tell them and just show up some day with a boyfriend.

“I don’t know what to do about it,” he said finally. “With girls, you kind of just take your shot, but with guys… How do you know?”

“What did you do with Jana?” Robbe asked, and Jens shrugged uselessly.

“I just kissed her. Can’t exactly do that. Even if we could see each other in real life, I’m not going to just kiss Lucas. He could punch me in the face.”

“I don’t think he would do that,” Robbe said, but it wasn’t too reassuring. “I think he likes you.”

“As a friend. We don’t even know if he’s into guys.”

“You didn’t either until just now,” Robbe pointed out with a laugh. He had a point, Jens had to admit.

“You know, if this was different,” he said, plucking a leaf off an overgrown bush, “if we were out in the world and we could see each other, I feel like it wouldn’t be so hard.”

With Jana, he’d seen her, talked to her, spent time alone with her, had felt they way they’d been drawn together, some unseen force telling him the feeling was mutual. It was so much harder this way.

Robbe made a soft noise. “Being stuck inside is making us all a little crazy,” he said. “Maybe that means we need to be a little more direct.”

“Just ask him, you mean?”

“Just tell him how you feel,” Robbe said. “He seems like a nice guy. Even if he doesn’t feel the same, he probably won’t hate you.”

“Reassuring.” Jens snorted, but he wondered if it would hurt if Lucas stopped talking to him because of this.

“You know Sander would tell you to paint his face on a building, so I think you’re getting the better deal here.”

Jens didn’t answer, wiping rain off his arm. He was going to have to go inside soon before he got soaked, but it was nice just to be outside, away from everyone, even for a minute.

“You’re the chillest guy I know, Jens,” Robbe said a minute later. “And if you’re nervous about Lucas, that must mean you really like him and you’ll regret it if you don’t say something.”

As much as Jens hated to admit it, Robbe was right. He’d come this far, telling Robbe first, before anything even happened. Normally, he would have just gone for it, let the chips fall where they may. But there were no parties to facilitate these things, no free-flowing alcohol to help him feel a little less stupid when hitting on someone who was clearly not interested. There was no moment where they stared at each other just a touch too long, brushed against each other too gently to be anything other than an accident.

“Yeah,” was all he said as he slumped back against the house, rain drops peppering his shirt. 

*

Jens passed Jana in the hall, swaying to the music, her hair flying around her. He slid past Zoe and Senne making out against the staircase, gliding into the living room overflowing with people. Lights flashed over the heaving crowd, the smell of alcohol rising from their sweaty bodies.

He moved right past Robbe with his arms wrapped tight over Sander’s shoulders, fingers twined in his freshly-bleached hair, moving with the beat of the music. It reverberated in Jens’ chest, each step a deep thud in his veins, surrounding him completely as he kept moving.

He didn’t know what he was looking for, weaving past the people dancing, chugging vodka and tequila like there was no tomorrow.

Faces drifted past him, blurs of nothing and everything all at the same time—people he knew, people he didn’t, pretty girls with dresses riding up their thighs as they lifted their arms to dance, guys staring at them desperately as Jens glided through the crowd.

As he moved, the crowd seemed to shift, opening up a path before him and Jens saw him. Standing alone, a plastic cup clutched in his hand, curls tumbling over his forehead as he looked up and locked eyes with Jens.

“Hey,” Jens said when he reached Lucas, the crowd behind him falling away in a grey mist.

“You found me,” Lucas said, and the cup fell from his hand as Jens reached for his face.

“I found you,” Jens repeated, his heart beating as loud as the music, a smile spreading over his face as he leaned in, lips parted, Lucas’ chin tilting to meet his, eyes drifting closed as the distance became smaller and smaller…

BANG!

Jens jerked awake, eyes flying open at the thud against his bedroom door.

“Lotte, no playing with the football inside!”

He heard his mom’s voice beyond the door, and he let out a heavy breath as he slumped against his pillow. It had been a dream. A very vivid dream. He could still feel his heart beating, though, as if it had been real, as if he might have gotten to kiss Lucas.

But it was impossible. He couldn’t even actually see Lucas, and so far, he hadn’t actually tried to say anything to Lucas about his feelings. Normally, he wouldn’t have bothered to wait, would have just walked up to a girl and asked her out, offered to make out in the stairwell, brought her a drink at a party and let fate take its course.

It hadn’t happened like that with Jana, though, he had to admit. Jana had been a slow, horribly nerve-wracking kind of thing, unsure if she wanted him to make a move, unsure what might happen if he did.

It was the same now, with Lucas, except that he couldn’t even see Lucas in person.

Rubbing his eyes, Jens groaned, listening to the bustle of life outside his door. His phone told him it was nearly ten in the morning, though the sky seemed dark for that late. He didn’t get up quite yet, sighing as he set his phone on his stomach. He’d have to do something, sooner or later.

*

[](https://imageshack.com/i/po9WTj7Wp)

“I vote we watch Clueless next time,” Jens said, watching Gweneth Paltrow on the computer screen. He saw the way Lucas smiled in his little video box in the corner of his screen.

“Not a fan of this version?”

“Alicia Silverstone was a lot hotter,” Jens said with a shrug. All in all, the movie wasn’t bad, and it made a lot more sense than the book did.

Lucas shook his head. “I guess I can’t argue with that.”

Jens paused for a second, not watching the movie playing on part of the screen, instead watching Lucas on the other. 

“So what’s your type?” he asked abruptly, watching Lucas carefully, but Lucas didn’t react except the frown slightly.

“My type?”

“What kind of girls do you like?”

Lucas scratched his forehead for a second before he shrugged. “I don’t think I really have one?”

“But you’ve dated girls, right?” Jens asked, too interested in the answer, not listening to the movie as it played. Lucas seemed to shift, the screen jostling a bit.

“Yeah,” he said after a second. “But it’s never been anything serious.”

“A player, huh?” Jens joked, but he felt a twinge deep in his stomach. It wasn’t as if he’d hadn’t dated plenty of girls himself, but that had no bearing on how he felt about Lucas right now.

“No,” Lucas scoffed, making a face. “They were just…” He paused, frowning before glancing back up at the screen. “What about you? I bet you’ve dated tons of girls.”

“A few,” he admitted.

“A few,” Lucas mocked as if he knew better.

This was Jens’ opening, if he was ever going to get one. Sitting up slightly, he ignored the movie, Gweneth Paltrow crying on the screen.

“I’ve been with some girls,” he said slowly, “but lately, I’ve been thinking about other things.”

Lucas smiled slightly. “Yeah, I think we’ve all been thinking about other things lately.”

“I mean other people,” Jens said, taking a breath against the nerves building up in his throat.

Lucas didn’t respond except the furrow of his eyebrows.

Jens had never had to say it before, to someone’s face. They’d always just _known_.

Swallowing, he cursed to himself. This shouldn’t have been so hard, so scary.

“A couple months ago, I kissed a guy at a party,” he said slowly, watching Lucas’ face for any kind of reaction. “And I don’t think I’m gay or anything—I might be bi.” He shrugged uselessly. Lucas didn’t say anything, watching Jens seriously now. “But I think—” Jens had to pause, shoving down the nerves surfacing. Why were these words so hard to get out? He’d never said them to anyone he didn’t already know liked him back. With Lucas, he had no idea and it was the uncertainty that killed him. “I like you, Luc.”

For a moment, the only sound was the movie playing, soft music filling the silence coming from Lucas.

It was torture, waiting, watching Lucas blink at the screen, not knowing what he was thinking, if Jens had just taken a shot in the dark and landed in a pit.

“Oh,” Lucas said finally, more of a breath than a word.

Frowning, Jens paused the movie finally and the silence was almost deafening instead as he watched Lucas. He wasn’t sure what that meant, if Lucas was thinking he was stupid, if Lucas was freaking out at the idea, if Jens had just ruined whatever friendship they had.

“Luc?” he asked finally when Lucas didn’t say anything else.

“I…” Lucas started, shaking his head, and Jens’ heart fell. “Jens, I—” He looked up sharply at a sound off-screen. “I gotta go. My dad’s calling.”

“Luc, wait,” Jens said as Lucas leaned forward, and he caught a close-up of his face, the crease in his forehead, an uncertain look in his eyes that worried Jens.

“Sorry,” Lucas just muttered before the screen went black.

Slumping back against the headboard, Jens let out a breath, disappointment flooding him as he blinked at the ceiling light.

“Fuck.”

*

[](https://imageshack.com/i/pmcvlF0xp)

*

Lucas didn’t like him back. Jens could handle that. He could handle someone not liking him back—it certainly wasn’t the first time. It was, however, the first time he’d told someone and they’d disappeared for three days.

He hadn’t spoken to Lucas since that night—not a single text or call, which might not have been unusual under different circumstances, but Jens had gotten used to talking to Lucas, to hearing his voice, seeing his face pop up on the screen.

All Robbe had said, when Jens finally texted him back, had been to give him time.

They certainly had plenty of that.

Jens blinked at the tiny finger poking his arm, a little too hard, a little too painful.

“Hettie, stop,” he muttered, shoving her hand away, but it didn’t deter her from crawling in his lap anyway, where he was sprawled over the couch, spacing out while some cartoon played in the background.

“You’re sad,” she said, poking his cheeks instead.

Sad wasn’t quite the right word, Jens thought. Disappointed, annoyed, unable to stop thinking about what an idiot he’d been to just say it like that. What had he expected Lucas to do? Smile and say he liked Jens too? It seemed like a stretch now.

“Go away,” he said instead, grabbing her wrists and pulling her hands away from his face.

“Why are you sad?” she asked, blinking her big brown eyes at him. Her hair was messy, as though no one had brushed it in a while, a bit of jam on her cheek from breakfast.

“I’m not sad,” he said with a huff, though that wasn’t exactly true.

So Lucas didn’t like him back? It wasn’t that big of a deal, he had told himself repeatedly over the last few days. There would be other guys. Other guys that he’d make out with at parties and maybe even feel the tingling deep in his chest when they smiled at him like he did with Lucas. But now, he’d ruined whatever friendship they’d had in a few words. Lucas probably wouldn’t even talk to him again, too freaked out, too weirded out by the idea of a guy liking him.

If that was the reason, Robbe had said, then there was no point in being friends with Lucas.

Jens knew, deep down, that was Robbe was right. If Robbe had told Jens he liked him, Jens wouldn’t have stopped talking to him. That didn’t make it hurt less.

“We could play a game. We could play hide and seek!” Hettie suggested, eyes bright. “Please, Jens!”

It wasn’t as if Jens had anything better to do, so he sighed and covered his eyes. “One, two, three…”

Hettie clambered off his lap and he heard the sounds of her feet running away through the house. He kept counting as he sat there—at least he didn’t have to think about Lucas for five minutes. He’d take five minutes.

*

[](https://imageshack.com/i/po3ymaaQp)

“I ran out of weed a week ago, guys,” Moyo said, sounding desperate, leaning forward into the camera. “What the fuck am I supposed to do now?”

“Jerk off?” Aaron suggested and Robbe laughed.

“He’s probably already doing plenty of that.”

“Fuck you, Robbe,” Moyo said, rolling his eyes. “At least I haven’t resorted to the ‘toothpaste’ method. Right, Jens? Jens?”

Jens blinked at his name, tearing his gaze away from his phone, Lucas’ latest post on Instagram.

“What?” he asked, tugging his hoodie up over his head. He definitely hadn’t been listening to most of the conversation. What was Lucas doing?

“Where are you, bro?” Moyo asked, waving a hand in front of the camera.

Robbe didn’t say anything as Jens shook his head.

“Tired of listening to you complain about not getting any.”

“Like any of us are getting any.” Moyo rolled his eyes. “Shit, I need to get out of my house.”

“Are you guys still doing homework?” Aaron asked. “My mom keeps trying to check I’ve done it.”

“We’re almost done with the project,” Robbe said when Jens looked away from his computer. He’d honestly forgotten about it, more concerned with the fact that if he ever talked to Lucas again, it was going to be awkward as hell. He’d rather avoid it if possible.

The only bright side of being in quarantine was that by the time it was done, there was a good chance Jens will have gotten over this. Maybe he and Lucas could just pretend he’d never said it, and Jens could shove his feelings down deep, make out with a few girls at parties and just forget that the sight of Lucas made him feel nervous.

“I can’t concentrate on school,” Aaron complained. “Like, how are we supposed to care about school when the whole world is ending?”

“It’s not ending,” Robbe said gently. “Things are gonna get better.”

It didn’t feel like it to Jens, but he didn’t say anything, closing out of Instagram finally. He wondered if he’d ever talk to Lucas again.

It was a more upsetting thought than he’d supposed, and he found himself distracted again as Moyo went on to complain about the lack of opportunities to get drunk in quarantine.

*

[](https://imageshack.com/i/poxfWyrMp)

*

It was really a mark of how down Jens was that Thursday morning found him actually working his part of the project. He’d shut himself up in his room and finally finished the book, in between drags on his last joint, hoping it would help him to feel better somehow.

As he crushed the last little bit on the windowsill, he sighed. It wasn’t going to be long until someone other than Hettie noticed he wasn’t himself, and he blamed Lucas for that. He blamed Lucas for the way the days seemed to drag by, as if even if the quarantine ended, things wouldn’t get better.

Jens didn’t like it. He didn’t like feeling this way. If things were normal, he would go out and get drunk and hit on some girl, any girl. Moyo had suggested getting drunk on their next video chat, but Jens just didn’t think it would be the same.

Even the guys might eventually notice if he didn’t snap out of this.

Shaking his head, Jens swung his legs off the sill, returning to the laptop on his bed. His half-finished essay stared him in the face and he groaned. If he didn’t finish it, Robbe would probably force a call again, even though he knew Robbe would put it off as long as possible for his sake, so he wouldn’t have to see Lucas.

It was nice of Robbe, but Jens knew he’d have to see Lucas eventually. If not now, at school some day.

As if on cue, his phone started vibrating at the foot of the bed and Jens sighed as he reached for it.

It wasn’t Robbe’s name on the screen, though, and Jens’ heart jumped into his throat at Lucas asking to Facetime.

Telling himself to calm down, Jens pressed the green button.

Lucas’ face came on the screen, looking tired, as if he hadn’t been sleeping lately. Jens wouldn’t let himself feel bad, though, frowning when Lucas didn’t say anything right away.

“Hi,” Lucas said finally, and Jens sat back, propping his arm up against his knee.

“Hey.” It came out a little harsher than Jens meant by the way Lucas flinched.

Lucas paused, chewing on his lip, as though rethinking why he was calling. Jens had no idea why he was calling. They hadn’t spoken to each other in almost a week. What more was there to say?

“I feel like I owe you an explanation,” Lucas said finally, and Jens shook his head.

“You don’t,” he said simply. “I get it. You don’t like me back. We don’t ever have to talk again.”

“Jens, stop,” Lucas said, surprising Jens, stopping him from ending the call right then and there. “That’s not what I was going to say.” He seemed to sigh and Jens frowned. Lucas brought the phone closer as he paused, eyebrows creased with worry. “No one’s ever said they liked me before, especially not a guy. I didn’t know what to say.”

“Because you’re not into guys,” Jens finished for him, though it didn’t make him feel better that Lucas was trying to pacify him. It didn’t change that rejection hurt.

“Because I’ve never told anyone I was into guys,” Lucas said finally, watching Jens carefully. It wasn’t what Jens had expected. “And I didn’t think you would be. So when you said it, I kind of panicked. I should have just said it then but I was thinking about my dad and my friends and how nobody knows, and how they would know if…”

“If what?” Jens asked, too eager now as he scooted forward. He’d given up hope that Lucas had any feelings for him, but this was different.

Lucas shook his head slightly. “If we got together. Because I do like you.” He tried for a smile, but he still seemed unsure in Jens’ reaction as Jens watched him.

Jens’ heart was soaring, all rational thoughts leaving his brain as a grin took over his face. Lucas liked him back.

“Why did it take you a week to tell me?” he asked finally, and Lucas frowned.

“I managed to convince myself that you probably hated me for how I reacted, so I had to call my best friend and basically come out so he could tell me I was an idiot for doing that.”

Jens shook his head. “You think too much, Luc,” he said with a soft smile. He wished he could reach through the phone and touch Lucas, comfort him. He said it as if he hadn’t spent the past few weeks overthinking everything. Lucas didn’t need to know that.

“I know,” Lucas agreed, but he sounded relieved, and he even smiled slightly. “So you don’t hate me?”

Jens laughed. “Of course not. I thought you hated me.”

“I would never,” Lucas assured him, smile soft, and Jens felt his chest well up with happiness. It was so stupid, that one person could make him feel so happy, but Jens wasn’t going to fight it.

“So what now?” Jens asked, gazing at Lucas, the way he shrugged easily, as if things could fall right back into place, as if none of that weirdness had happened.

“Phone sex?”

Laughing, Jens grinned. “Maybe let’s take it one step at a time.”

“Didn’t think you were that kind of guy,” Lucas said, and Jens smiled.

“Trust me, if I wasn’t stuck in this house, we’d definitely be making out right now.”

“I guess that’s something to look forward to,” Lucas said, licking his lips, and Jens thought he was doing it on purpose now.

“There are lots of things to look forward to,” he said simply, watching Lucas smile, and god, he’d missed it. Robbe was right, he thought as Lucas gazed at him through the screen, he did really like Lucas and he didn’t regret saying something at all.

*

[](https://imageshack.com/i/plzugHJBp)

[](https://imageshack.com/i/pmry4Vj5j)

*

Epilogue

“Aren’t you glad you moved here?” Jens asked, pulling Lucas closer, his arm over Lucas’ shoulders, as they strolled down the river front, pressing an easy kiss to his temple as Lucas laughed.

“I’m glad I met you,” he said, which wasn’t exactly an answer to the question, and Jens scoffed.

“That’s not an answer.”

“Sure it is,” Lucas insisted, stopping to tug Jens to him, toe to toe, a teasing smile at his lips as he tilted his head to the side. “You’re the only reason I made it through those first few months.”

It was sappy, but Jens let it go, leaning in to kiss Lucas, loving the way Lucas sighed against him, arms tight around his neck. He still couldn’t get over the way Lucas seemed to fit against him, just tall enough that Jens didn’t have to lean down to kiss him, always giving back as good as he got.

“What would you have done without me?” Jens murmured, and Lucas paused thoughtfully, fingers trailing down the back of Jens’ neck, a shiver traveling down his spine at the light touch.

“I seriously considered breaking quarantine and hitchhiking back to Utrecht a couple times.”

“Good thing you didn’t, or you’d miss out on all this,” Jens said, smirking as Lucas shook his head, leaning into his forehead.

It was amazing how easy it had been, coming out of quarantine, seeing Lucas for the first time, like two puzzle pieces fitting together. He’d never wondered for a minute if he was making a mistake with Lucas.

“And I wouldn’t want that,” Lucas agreed, and Jens kissed the smile off his face this time.

“Alright, that’s enough of that!” Moyo’s voice broke them apart, and Jens glanced over to find Moyo, Aaron, and Robbe skating up. Sander trailed behind, nodding at Jens in greeting. 

“Hey, Luc,” Robbe greeted him easily, and Lucas smiled.

“First vlog out of quarantine!” Moyo said excitedly, waving his phone around. “We’re not going to let you and Robbe spend the whole time making out with your boyfriends. So what are we gonna do?”

“I thought that was your job,” Jens said, shoving Moyo’s shoulder. “Coming up with _brilliant_ ideas.”

“Fuck you. All my ideas are brilliant,” Moyo said, preening as Luc laughed into Jens’ shoulder.

“Then what’s your idea?” Robbe asked, hopping up on the ledge with Sander while Moyo spluttered in response.

Jens glanced at Lucas, sliding his arm back over his shoulder, comfortable and easy. “This is what you got yourself into.”

Lucas merely shrugged, eyes bright and soft. “I’m good with that.”

Yeah, Jens was good with that too.

[](https://imageshack.com/i/podLmZlvp)

*

FIN.


End file.
